What Really Matters?
First and foremost, “what really matters” and what should be number one in our lives is our relationship with Almighty God.
No matter where we’ve been. Where we’re at. Or where we’d like to go. What really matters is where we are right now. At this precise moment and what we have at this precise time. And more importantly, whose we are. And who we ultimately belong to. When we can answer those questions correctly, we get a whole new perspective on our lives as Christian singles within the Church.
As individuals, the first thing we should be trying to establish and work on is the “vertical”. Our relationship with God, before we start trying to look for those “horizontal” relationships. However, sometimes we get our priorities around the wrong way and put all our efforts into trying to look for those earthly relationships to define us and who we are.
Now, please don’t misunderstand me, even though it’s good to have hopes; plans and dreams for our lives, let’s not forget that “tomorrow” isn’t promised to any of us. James 4:13-14 states “now listen, you who say, “today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money”. Why, you don’t even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes”.
So, to put your life on “hold” so to speak, for something or a lifestyle you have yet to embrace is really not living at all.
Back to the question I posed at the beginning; “what really matters?” Putting things aside, lets focus on the things in this life that we can be sure of.
Our relationship with God is something that we can really be sure about. It’s real. It’s current and it’s now.
The intimacy we have with God on a day-to-day basis is real, it’s authentic, it’s tangible and it’s worth pursuing and investing time in.
Let’s get our priorities right and never lose sight of the fact that our relationship with God, will always be the number one relationship in our lives, whether we have a life partner or not and that’s the relationship that ultimately God wants to have our undivided attention in.
Whilst your status may be "single" at this particular juncture in your life. You need to know that you are a unique individual. You are “one of a kind” and there is no other person on this earth, quite like you.
So how about putting all that focus and energy that sometimes we put in looking for that mate, into being the best “you” that you can be.
That means celebrating “you” as an individual and all that, that entails. You are going to be a far better spouse when you are confident in being your authentic self.
And the liberating thing about that thought is you don’t have to be a carbon copy of anyone else – Psalms 139:14 states “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Note the scripture doesn’t say “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully married. Or “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully single”. But rather “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”. So, the emphasis does not always have to be about our marital status, but most importantly, it’s about “who we are in Christ”.
Let me challenge you with the following questions:-
Q: Do you know who you are in Christ?
Q: Do you know the giftings God has placed in you and if you do, how are you utilising those gifts? And if not, why not?
We should all have at least one gift that we know about and I’d like to encourage you to pursue and develop that gift and see where it takes you? See what doors God will open as a result of you taking ownership of your gift.
Proverbs 18:16 says “a man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great men”. You could be the next ………… (think about it. Only you can fill in the blank).
The reason I ask the above questions is that we need to have an identity and know who we are. We need to know what shapes us as individuals and what we stand for.
If we don’t set standards for ourselves and put boundaries in our lives, we will fall prey to anything the devil decides to throw in our way and that can result in the relationships we embark on or the person we choose as a spouse.
If ever a time we should be developing those standards it is now, whilst we are single and, in a position, to make good choices for our lives.
As I was preparing this blog, the Holy Spirit dropped a thought into my spirit which I’d like to share with you. Even though the Bible states in Genesis 2:18 “that it is not good for the man to be alone”, marriage is not promised to anyone of us. Yet many of us spend so much time, energy and focus on looking for “the one”. Yet something that is “sure” and promised to us is “eternal life”.
Matthew chapter 6 tells us “not to worry about life” and verses 33-34 states “but seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
In closing, let’s ask that question one more time, “what really matters”? I don’t believe God wants us to worry about this area of our lives, but rather I believe He wants us to leave it with Him; being confident that He is more than qualified to deal with our desires, and then go on to enjoy our lives and live fulfilled and fruitful lives, so that we can be the men and women he created us to be from the foundations of the world.
So, enjoy this unique season of your lives, and enjoy being “you”.
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